


Children Of The Bad Revolution

by badboybellamy



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Peter Pan & Related Fandoms
Genre: Cages, Dark Peter Pan, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I'll be good, James Young - Freeform, Jealousy, Later Felix/Tinker Bell, Later mentions of Tinker Bell/ Killian, Long history, Nightmares, Self-Hatred, Song fic, Storybrooke?, Torture, Young Love, darlingpan, different songs so, effing love this ship, mainly tinklix, ship them so hard, tinklix, wendy/peter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-12 17:30:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5674525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badboybellamy/pseuds/badboybellamy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being on Neverland has given Wendy a long history with Peter Pan, a rather dark one at that. Their past is full of bitter hate, deceit, passion, and understanding. Though their long history is set in stone the future is unclear. Peter senses a great change coming while Wendy watches in horror as people that don't belong in Neverland arrive on the island mistaking her as the girl she once was- a prisoner.</p><p>When he found her she was the broken remains of a fairy that had no where to go. He looked into her eyes and saw himself, a lost soul searching aimlessly for direction. Felix was seventeen when Peter came to his window. He was not quite a man and no longer a child when he found his direction. Looking into her tear filled green eyes he knew he wanted to be that for her. With warm smiles and gentle touches Felix became Tinker Bell's shelter from the dangers of the world around her. To Felix, Tinker Bell was a reminder of the good in the world and the good he still possesses despite all of the bad things he's done.</p><p>I suck at summaries but y'know. Basically, a back to back fic featuring DarlingPan and Tinklix. I definitely want to turn it into a Storybrooke fic as the story progresses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Holy Angels Guard Your Rest

_**"I thought I saw the devil, this morning looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue with the warning to help me see myself clearer. I never meant to start a fire. I never meant to make you bleed. I'll be a better man today. I'll be good, I'll be good. I'll love the world, like I should. Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good. For all of the times that I never could. My past has tasted bitter for years now, I wield an iron fist. Grace is just weakness or so I've been told I've been cold, I've been merciless. But the blood on my hands scares me to death. Maybe I'm waking up today. For all of the light that I shut out. For all of the innocent things that I've doubt. For all of the bruises that I've caused and the tears. For all of the things that I've done all these years. Yeah, for all of the sparks that I've stomped out. For all of the perfect things that I doubt, I'll be good, I'll be good. And I'll love the world, like I should. Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good. For all of the times I never could."** _

If there is one thing Wendy knew for certain after being on Neverland it's that resistance is futile. Peter had instilled this in her, made her believe that to return to London would be an impossible and fruitless task. She grew to accept this, though. After centuries of being in Neverland with Peter she didn't think she could call London or even the other world her home. Her home was the island, her home was her tree house, her cage, her captor.

This did not mean that the burden of living here didn't weigh heavy on her still frail shoulders. She had been gone for far too long to call London her home anymore. All she had was Neverland. The first time she visited the island it was beautiful, everything she ever wanted and then some. The young lost boys called her "mummy" and let her read stories to them while Peter played house with her. He was the daddy and she was the mummy. She loved him then.

When Wendy would rough house with her brothers, her mother would sit her down and sternly tell her that, "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt." Wendy replayed this quote over and over in her head every night she spent crying herself to sleep.

After many years she became numb to being Pan's prisoner and her tears dried. The anger she had for Peter slowly ebbed away and her retorts became somewhat playful. Every now and again he'd say something to hurt her feelings, just to see her reaction. She'd get upset, sometimes refuse to eat. Peter would never apologize but he would bring her her food and a flower as if to say sorry anyway.

Sometimes he would smile at her like she was the sun, like he knew a secret she didn't. Sometimes he'd laugh and she would remember the reason she fell in love with him in the first place. Sometimes he would tuck her in and linger a while after to watch her sleep peacefully. Sometimes, when she couldn't sleep or when nightmares made her quake with fear he would crawl into bed with her and wrap his arms around her small frame. She would wake warm and well rested with his breath tickling her neck.

It was late at night and Wendy sat beside the fire with Tootles in her lap. All of the others asleep in their beds aside from Peter who sat across from her, illuminated by the fire. Peter was staring at her intently, wicked smirk on his face.

The boys didn't call her mother as often as they used to but every now and again the youngest would look upon her with soft eyes, wanting nothing more than a mummy to hold them. Wendy almost always complied. She had wanted to grow up, get married and have children but Peter wouldn't let her so in a way the Lost Boys became her children. She loved them like she imagined she would have loved her own babies.

The boys, though wicked from many hunts, were still children and craved the attention their parents should have given them. Tootles especially had nightmares of his old life, this was one of those nights he felt terribly uneasy about who he used to be. So Wendy- mother would rock him and hold him tightly to her chest, his head resting on her breast as she hummed and cooed to him. Tootles had just woken up from a particularly nasty dream, his small body shaking in her lap. The poor thing was too restless to go back to bed.

"Sleep my baby on my bosom, warm and cozy will it prove. Round thee mother's arms are folding. In her heart a mother's love." She sang softly, voice sweet as she shifted him just a bit closer. Her voice was beautiful and comforting to all of the Lost Boys, including Peter. "There shall no one come to harm thee, naught shall ever break thy rest. Sleep my darling babe in quiet. Sleep on mother's gentle breast." Her voice carried quietly throughout camp, just loud enough for Peter to hear. He stared at his bird, with fascination on his face. After all the heartbreak he had put her through she would always be the mother to his role as their father. "Sleep serenely, baby, slumber. Lovely baby, gently sleep; tell me wherefore art thou smiling. Smiling sweetly in thy sleep? Do the angels smile in heaven when thy happy smile they see? Dost thou on them smile while slumb'ring on my bosom peacefully." Tootles seemed to settle down against her, eyes closed mouth open slightly. Wendy smiled warmly down at him. She saw his peaceful expression before looking up to meet Peter's intense gaze. "Do not fear the sound of a breeze brushing leaves against the door. Do not dread the murmuring seas, lonely waves washing the shore." Peter's gaze faltered slightly, hating how sad she suddenly sounded. "Sleep child mine, there's nothing here, while in slumber at my breast. Angels smiling, have no fear holy angels guard your rest." Wendy gently laid the sleeping Tootles down on his makeshift bed. She tucked the thin blanket around his shoulders and brushed the hair back from his face, kissing the top of his head. It was sweet moments like these that made living on Neverland bearable.

Peter watched from where he sat thinking to himself that Wendy was their angel- guarding the boys as they slept. Wendy had always, and would always be, his weakness. She was too kind to him, making him want to flush like a schoolboy each time she grinned warmly at him. "Are you ready for bed?" He asked her, voice distant and air-like.

Wendy looked up from her sleeping child and nodded mutely, though she wasn't tired. She watched as Peter stood up and stretched, lazy and cat-like. Wendy gracefully made her way over to him, brushing off her gown. He held his hand out for her, as if he were a proper gentleman. Warily she slid her small hand into his, letting him guide her through the forest and to her tree house.

The air was humid, making her dress stick to her skin. She hated when the island got hot like this. Wendy had always speculated that Peter Pan controlled the weather with his emotions, but she had brushed that notion off as just a bit too ridiculous. Surely he wasn't that powerful, right? Besides, even if he could control the weather why would he make it unbearably hot?

"Bird, aren't you going up?" Peter asked, pulling her from her thoughts. It took a moment for her to focus on her surroundings, to take in the ladder leading up to her tree house. She looked up at him, with troubled eyes. His brow furrowed and he looked down at her in concern. "Wendy?"

"Peter..." Wendy hadn't called him by his first name in a long time.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly, reaching out to touch her face.

"Just...lost in thought I suppose." She turned away from his touch and began to make her way up the ladder. Peter hesitated for a moment before following her up. When he finally opened the door and entered the room Wendy was sitting before her mirror brushing through her curls. He stood back with his arms crossed over his chest, studying her intently. Wendy's lips curled down in distaste as she stared at herself in the mirror, it unnerved him.

"Wendy-bird, time for bed." Peter said sternly.

Wendy turned around in the seat and looked up at him, biting her lip as she did when she was nervous. She nodded and stood, gazing up at him through her lashes. Wendy wasn't stupid she knew that Peter didn't love her, but he played with her heart strings all the same...even without meaning to. She turned her body away from him and crawled into her small bed, scooting over to make room for him.

She felt the bed dip and Peter moved to put an arm around her, pulling her back flush against his chest. It was terribly hot in her room and she wanted nothing more than to pull away from him but she remained in his arms. Even if he didn't love her she...felt for him. Despite the fact that he had rejected her.

_Peter had slipped away from the boys to get some peace of mind, Wendy waited a few moments before following him in the woods. She had been thinking a lot of returning to her home, except she wanted Peter to go with her. In fact, Wendy wanted nothing more than to go home and grow up so that her and Peter could get married and have their own family._

_She peered through the trees out at Peter, who sat at the edge of the jungle staring up at the stars. "C'mon, Bird, you can come out now." He called, not even looking over his shoulder._

_Wendy slowly made her way towards him, nervously playing with the skirt of her dress. She took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to gather the courage to talk to him. But Peter was looking up at her and no words came out._

_"Wendy." Peter said with suspicion in his voice. "What's wrong?"_

_"I want to go home." She blurted out, making him scowl at her._

_"You are not going home." He said, enunciating every word for emphasis._

_"Peter!" Wendy whined. "Just hear me out." She begged. "I want to go home but I want you to come with me. I want the boys to come too. We can be a family." She insisted._

_"Why must you insist on leaving? Are you not happy here, Wendy? Are you not happy with me?" He asked her accusingly._

_"I want to grow up. I want us to grow up, Peter! So that we can be together, all of us."_

_Peter's dark eyes narrowed and his lips curled up in disgust. Wendy's own lips trembled as she looked up at him with tear filled eyes. "We can be together forever here, Wendy. Forever!" He yelled making her feel small._

_"I'm sorry." She apologised, though she didn't think she did anything wrong._

_"No, you're not. You know what I think? I think you want us all to grow up and live horrible lives where we grow old and die miserably. Do you want us to die? Do you want me to die? Because I think you do." His voice was loud and cold, cutting through the warmness that surrounds her kind heart._

_"That's not true. I love the boys I love y-" She stopped talking, covering her mouth with her hands as if in shock. Wendy looked down to avoid his gaze. "I care about the boys and I care about you, Peter. You know that. Please...please..." She pleaded._

_"Well I don't care about you, and I certainly don't love you." Wendy let out a pained noise, as if he had struck her. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks and she shook her head._

_He did care about her, she knew he did. He had to! She wiped her tears with the back of her hands but more continued to fall. "You're a liar, Peter Pan. I don't believe you!" She yelled back, knowing those were the words to wound him._

_Peter snarled and lunged at her, shoving her back so she was pushed against a tree. He raised his dagger to her throat, pushing it against her pale skin till red dripped down her collarbone. "Don't you dare say that again, do you hear me? Don't you dare!" He screamed, Wendy shaking against him._

_She nodded slightly, terrified he would kill her. He pushed her back again, her head banging against the back of the hard bark. The knife dug in a bit further until finally, as if he'd been in a trance, Peter backed away from her with a wild expression on his face. Wendy's knees gave out and she collapsed against the tree, sobbing hysterical._

_Slowly the boy knelt in front of her, staring at the blood he had drawn from his sweet little Wendy-bird. The girl he had vowed to protect above all else. He wouldn't kill her. His conscience- or what's left of it- wouldn't let him. "Wendy." He said gently, but the girl covered her face with her hands to protect herself from him._

_"I'm sorry." She apologised again. "Please don't kill me, Peter, I'm sorry." Wendy was begging again, shrinking away from him._

_Guilt consumed him, though he would never say so. "I would never kill you, Bird. You are mine." Peter gently stroked her blonde hair, a horrified expression on his face, the blood bright against her pale skin and white night gown. He had only drawn a small amount of blood from her but in his eyes any amount was too much. In that moment he truly felt like the monster Wendy claimed him to be._

_Wendy wanted to hate him, she really did, but after every bad thing that has happened to her on the island Peter had been there to rescue her and make her feel better. She moved her hands from her face and crawled forward, right into his arms. He pulled her up and into her lap, her thin arms wrapping around his neck and clinging tightly to him. Wendy cried into his neck, tears wetting his shirt. He rubbed her back soothingly, just as he had seen her do to the boys thousands of times over._

_"Shoosh, Bird, you're alright now. I've got you. I'm here." He soothed, but her cries didn't die down. With a sigh he picked her up and carried her bridal style to her tree house. "Lets get mother cleaned up now, shall we?" Peter said, knowing it's exactly what Wendy wanted to hear._

_Incidentally_ _this was the first night he had heard her scream from nightmares. This was also the first night he spent holding her in his arms while she slept._

"Wendy." Peter murmured into her shoulder, voice thick with sleep. "You're thinking too loud. Go to bed."

Wendy lay completely still in his arms, doing her best to stop thinking. She closed her eyes tightly, willing sleep to take her.

Peter let out a huff of warm breath against her flushed skin when he realised she wasn't going to fall asleep that easily. "Tell me what you're thinking about."

"You." She said into the darkness of her room.

"Me?" Peter asked with tired disbelief. "What about me?" He didn't sound angry or irritated. In fact, he was using his sweet voice. The voice he would use when they had one of their private tender moments.

Wendy pulled the arm he had around her waist tighter, holding it against her body with her own arms. Peter's body tensed for a moment. She knew he didn't like when she got too needy. Slowly he relaxed around her, holding her firmly in his secure embrace. "It doesn't matter anymore." She said resolutely.

"Wendy." He said with a warning tone. "You won't sleep if you don't say." He was right, and he knew she knew so.

Wendy fell quiet again, thinking over her words carefully. "My feelings have never changed, Peter. And it's okay if yours haven't either." Her words making the atmosphere grow heavy around them.

Peter knew what she meant though. Wendy Darling was still in love with Peter Pan, despite the fact that he was terribly cruel to her. Not only did she still love him but she gave him permission to play with her because she knew he didn't love her back- not really anyway.

Peter pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder, nuzzling her as if he were a kitten and not a corrupted boy king. "Maybe mine have."

"What if it's not enough?"

Peter was silent for a moment, pondering over this. "Peter Pan never fails." He finally answers and Wendy lets out a breathy laugh in response.

_"He let me go." Wendy had told her brothers. "Because he didn't want me."_

Did this mean Peter wanted her the way she had always wanted him? The pirates, when they kidnapped her, said he would come to her rescue because she was his girl. But Wendy was never his girl not in the same way she would have been his girl back in London. No, she was merely his prized possession here.

When he was no less of a god in her eyes he had strut Wendy around as mother. He showed her the magic of Neverland, the good side of him. He made her want to stay there and then he took it away, breaking her heart in the process.

"I don't believe you." She whispers, knowing he won't hurt her- not again. Peter Pan, through all of his faults, would never let harm come to his Wendy-Bird.

For a moment she thought she heard his breath hitch but wrote it off as the wind. Wendy could feel his heart beat faster against her back and instantly felt bad. "You've said what was on your mind, now go to bed." Wendy dared not defy him. She closed her eyes and held onto his arms as she tried to fall asleep.

It stormed that night the sky her tree house illuminated with lightning, her slumber interrupted by thunder. She laid awake, listening to Peter's breathing.

* * *

Peter slowly started to wake up, with eyes closed he began to regain a sense of his surroundings. He was in Wendy's bed, snuggled against her under her warm covers. He laid there for a few moments, basking in her and thinking of their conversation from the night before. Wendy, his Wendy, no longer believed in him. Knowing she had lost her faith in him hurt but he couldn't blame her for it. After all of the pain he had caused the girl it only made sense for her to reject him when he _finally_ tried to tell her how he felt. If this was love he didn't think he wanted it.

Peter didn't even know how these feelings developed in the first place. In the beginning Wendy was just some silly girl his shadow brought to Neverland. A girl that he could have fun playing with, nothing more. Somewhere along the way of her stay on his island he liked her playing mother to his father. He liked the way her slender hand fit in his, the way she said his name, the way they would bicker back in forth in an attempt to crown one of them the victor. Sometimes he liked the way she made him want to be good. Other times Peter couldn't stand the way she would never truly love him without him changing.

Peter shifted back slightly and looked down at the sleeping girl beside him. Her honey halo swimming around her small face. Shadows were cast under her lashes from lack of sleep. With a sigh he brushed stray strands of hair from her face. She was restless all throughout the night, he felt it even in his own slumber. The worse thing about her unease was knowing he had caused it.

When she first arrived on the island she had been bright and happy, believing in magic and believing in him. She would subtlety touch him or smile up at him and all the wars raging inside him were quelled. Never in all of Peter Pan's life had everything just gone silent. He was a wild animal, cruel from one too many hunts. He was a canyon, made from weathering brought on by heavy storms and fast streams. He was a puppy that had been kicked too many times and bared his teeth for the world to see.

It is because of who Peter is he is unprepared for the goodness that comes with Wendy. She is kind to the Lost Boys, holding Tootles by the hand and letting him cling to her dress as they walk. She'll kiss the top of the younger boy's heads and hold onto them when they are hurt. She'll stand on her tip toes and pat the tops of the older boys heads affectionately.

What surprises him the most is the love she has for him. Peter is not a good person by any means. He's violent and cruel, often times for his own amusement. He threatens Wendy and punishes the boys, the only people in his life that he actually gives a damn about. Love is too strong of a word for him to use out loud but it's what he thinks about when the boys follow him around like he's their savior, or when Wendy holds onto him in her sleep.

Wendy gradually began to wake up, the small smile playing on her lips the only remains of the sweet dream she just had. "Good morning." She heard Peter say, her smile faltering. Wendy knew he was going to pretend the conversation the night prior hadn't happened. She didn't want to but she would let him.

"G'morning." She mumbled, voice thick with sleep. She rubbed her eyes with her fist as Peter smiled down at her. The girl was absolutely adorable when tired, though he'd never say that out loud.

Peter tucked her hair behind her ear and stood up. "I'm gonna go check on the boys," he said as a farewell. Wendy let him go. She laid in bed thinking of him, all of the bad and all of the good things he has done. She loves him the way she remembers her mother loving her father. He loves her the way she remembers her father loving her mother. Wendy hates it but she can't bring herself to truly _hate_ him. Wendy thinks this may be why she's started to hate herself. Her body is slim and frail, certainly not that of the woman she should be. Her hair is a mess of frizzy curls she will never be able to change, she blamed the humidity of the island for this. She looks in the mirror and hates what she see's because it's not what she's _supposed_ to be.

Wendy Darling would give anything to be back in London with her family. She would have that if she'd never met Peter Pan. As much as she hates Neverland and misses her family she knows she'll never be able to bring herself to forsake him. Peter Pan, for all his wrongs, is Wendy's true love. Long ago she had given him her secret kiss, her thimble, her heart. Though he has yet to gift her his love in return, Wendy knows his heart belongs to her, it's the only thing that makes Neverland bearable.


	2. I'll Use You As A Warning Sign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tinker Bell and Felix go swimming. Lots of fluff and angst ensues.

**_"_ ** **_I'll use you as a warning sign, t_** ** _hat if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind. I'll use you as a focal point, so I don't lose sight of what I want. I've moved further than I thought I could, but I miss you more than I thought I would._ ** **_I'll use you as a warning sign, that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind._ ** **_I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me. Talk some sense to me._ ** **_I'll use you as a makeshift gauge o_ ** **_f how much to give and how much to take. I'll use you as a warning sign, that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind._ ** **_I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me. Talk some sense to me."_ **

She ran through the jungle, her heart beating wildly to the rhythm of the drums miles behind her. A laugh bubbled in her chest as the scarred boy chased after her. "Tinker Bell!" He called after her. "Slow down, Tinker Bell!"

"Catch me if you can!" She sang, giggling as she ran harder. Felix was always having to chase after the wild girl in order to keep her in line and out of Pan's grasp. He didn't mind chasing after her though because when he catches her it makes everything worth his while.

He finds himself laughing along side her, letting go of everything that he's been holding back. He watches her, eyes accustomed to the dark that night brings to the jungles of Neverland. The fallen leaves crunch under his heavy footsteps as they ran towards a clearing that led to a beach.

Tink's dainty feet hit the sand as she pulled the scarf from her neck, throwing it on the dunes. She's untying her boots and kicking her tights off before he's out of the tree line. She slides her sweater off her shoulders and slips her top up. She's in her underwear running towards the water by the time Felix catches up to her.

Felix kicks his boots off and drops his cloak into Tink's pile of clothes. He pulled his shirt off and over his head, tugging his pants down as Tink splashed her way into the water. Felix waded in after her just as she took out the band that held her hair up. Blonde waves cascaded down her back and over her shoulders. The girl rarely had her hair down but Felix had to admit he loved it when she did.

He watched the pale skin of her bare back as she dives under the water. The dimples poking up just above her underwear taunting him. He's standing in front of her when she resurfaces, pushing her wet hair back and away from her face. She's grinning up at him like he's her whole world, it lights up her entire face. His heart pounds against his rib cage and his stomach is swimming with butterflies.

Tinker Bell steps towards him, crowding his personal space, suddenly making him feel shy. She stands on her tip toes in the sand and kisses the scar that adorns his cheek. He tenses under her touch, her lips chaste against his pale skin. Felix knows she feels guilty about what happened, he never blamed her for it.

_"What did I tell you about messing around in **my** woods?" The boy boomed, hands on his hips as he strut in front of the cage. His eyebrow raises as if it's a question but Tinker Bell knows it's a trap. "Didn't Felix warn you not to talk to my Lost Boys? Could you not take care of your charge?" He asks, sending glares towards the taller boy._

_Felix hangs his head low in shame. He clenches his jaw and remains silent. He'd always choose Pan over her. Tinker Bell wants to cry but she refuses to give Pan the satisfaction of knowing he broke her down._

_"I suppose we'll just have to make a lesson of the little pixie, won't we?" Felix shivers under Pan's gaze. "How about a game?" Tinker Bell winces, she's never liked his games. "Let's see the fairy fly!" He exclaims._

_The cage shoots up as the girl lets out a blood curling scream. When the small wooden death trap reaches the top of the trees it jerks and shakes, smacking her against bark. Her shoulders and arms are scraped up from the wood, her knees bruised from the force of the cage. Tinker Bell continues to scream, beg, and cry until her voice is hoarse. "Let me down!" She yells, looking down at the ground bellow her. Her heart is pounding and she's terrified of falling. She remembers the fall after losing her wings and screams louder. "Felix! Felix, please!" All the fight leaves her when she realises no one is going to come for her. All she has is Felix and all Felix has is Pan._

_Peter stomps off with a satisfied smirk when he hears the girl's scream follow him through the woods. Felix watches him go as he stands there stiff with guilt. He hears Tinker Bell scream, the cage rattle and bang, he hears her cry, and call his name. Anger flows through his entire being. He's angry at Peter for hurting the girl he loves. He's angry at himself for claiming to love her while standing by as Peter hurts her._

_He sees red when he decides to storm after Peter. "Let her down." His voice is cold as always, to the untrained ear nothing was wrong but Peter could sense the anger radiating off of him._

_"Felix." Pan greets warmly, ignoring his follower's request._

_"Peter." He warns, as if he has any power over Pan. "Cut her down."His fist clenched at his shaking side._

_"Pray tell, Felix, why would I do that?"_

_The smart remark makes him want to lunge at Peter but he restrains himself, wanting to get away from this with his life. "You know why." He says carefully._

_A wicked smile slowly appears on his face. "Alright, I'll cut her down." Felix lets out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. "On one condition."_

_His body tenses again. "Anything." He says without thinking. Before Felix can process what's happening Pan has slammed him against a nearby tree._

_"I cut you down too." Asking Pan for anything is a dangerous game, but for Tink he'd pay the price. He feels the cool blade of Pan's knife against the side of his face before he feels the pain. He lets out a cry of anguish as it slides from the middle of his forehead down to his cheek. The cut is deep and he'll have the scar for the rest of his life._

_Blood runs down his face and he feels dizzy. Peter, his best friend and his savior, has scarred him for life. His legs are weak when Peter steps back. "You'd better hurry, the bird's no longer got wings."_

_Felix stumbles away from Peter, back tracking to where he left Tink in the cage. He doesn't hear her screaming anymore and it unnerves him. Just as he opens his mouth to call out to her he watches, in horror, as the cage begins to descend to the jungle floor._

_The blonde inside screams as it crashes to the ground, splintering around her. Felix rushes towards her, falling to his knees in front of her. The girls body is trembling as silent tears roll down her cheeks._

_"It's okay." He says softly, in a voice reserved for her. She doesn't seem to hear him, so with gentle hands he cups her face. "It's okay, you're okay." He soothes, looking into her green eyes. With his thumb he wipes the tears away from her soft cheeks. She moves towards him, hugging him tightly. Her nails digging into his back as she clings to the fabric. "You're alright, girl. I've got you."_

_After an eternity her crying is reduced to soft sniffles against his shoulder. He picks her up as if she's glass and he's afraid to break her. Tinker Bell wraps her arms around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He rubs soothing circles against her back all the way to his tree house. He's holds her tightly against his chest with one arm as he carries her up the ladder._

_He steps inside and closes the small hatch he calls a door. Once inside he sets Tink down on his bed. Immediately she lays down on the fur blankets, he goes to tell her she needs to sit up but she looks so weak that he just closes his mouth and swallows down his protest. He goes to his water basin, believing the water into being warm. He takes a small cloth and dips it in the water, wringing it out to be damp. He sits beside the small girl on the bed and begins to clean her scrapped up limbs._

_When she winces his touches become gentler. It isn't until he's done that she speaks. "What happened to your face?" She asks, peering up at the blood running down his face through her lashes._

_He sighs heavily and shakes his head, his hands brushing her hair soothingly from her face. "I'm fine." Is all he says._

_"That's not what I asked." Her voice is soft and hoarse from screaming._

_"I told Peter to cut you down." An emotion Felix couldn't quite place flashed on Tinker Bell's face._

_"Are you stupid?" She asked with wide eyes. "Or do you just have a death wish?" She pauses like she's still trying to process what he just said. "Why would you do that?"_

_It's Felix's turn to look surprised. "What do you mean? Pan said so himself, you're my charge. Don't you get it, girl? What he did to you...it wasn't right. I couldn't stand by and let him...not to you." He's fighting emotions he doesn't want to be feeling. What would have happened to the girl had he not stepped in? What if Pan tried to kill her?_

_"He could have killed you!" She raises her broken voice, exclaiming this like it explained everything. She sits up abruptly, raising a hand to his cut. She felt sick looking at it, knowing he got it for sticking up for her. For thinking he owed her something. With shaky hands she takes the cloth from his hands and gingerly begins to wipe away the blood. When the blood is all washed away from his face she sees how deep the cut truly is. However, it isn't until she sees the blood- his blood that has stained her hands she feels tears well in her eyes. Shivers wrack her body, goosebumps make their way across her skin. Guilt gnaws at her stomach, making her heart pound against her chest and bile rise in her throat._

_Felix takes her small face in his hands, forcing her to look up at him. "Tinker Bell, we are okay." He assures with ferocious determination. Before he can figure out whats going on he feels her soft lips pressing against his. He doesn't remember who leaned in first, he's not sure he ever knew to begin with really. All he knows is it's their first kiss. It's not magical like the stories Wendy tells, but it's theirs._

_The kiss is short lived and chaste but it feels like a beginning- to what Felix didn't know at the time. When she pulls away and looks at his face she doesn't look as scared as she did before. She closes her eyes and leans her forehead against the side of his face that isn't cut. She takes a deep breath, trying to sort out how she feels. "We can't do this, Felix." She finally says._

_He falters, never had he expected rejection. "Why not?" Felix asks softly, his hand resting on her waist as if to hold her in his embrace._

_"He'll kill us if he finds out." She whispers, he can feel her eyelashes flutter against his cheek bone._

_His arms wrap securely around her, pulling her flush against him. "I won't let him harm you, Tink." It's the first time he's ever called her 'Tink' and she likes the way he says it._

_"You can't stop him. Not from hurting me or from hurting you. I won't do this to you." She urges, grabbing onto the back of his cloak tightly._

_"I can make my own decisions." He says into her hair, kissing the top of her head. He strokes down the length of her loose blonde locks, though wild and untamed it suits her down. "I choose you."_

_It doesn't feel true but there's relief hearing him say it anyway. Tinker Bell is almost certain that if it were her or Pan, his undying loyalty for his leader would win over his love for her. Worst of all Felix hasn't denied it yet. She nods and separates herself from him, dipping her hands in the water basin to wash away his blood. She watches as the water turns red, focusing on anything but Felix. She rubs her hands together for harder and longer than necessary. He lets her have the brief moment to collect herself._

_When she finishes she walks past him and climbs on top of his small bed, she scoots in. She's too tired to make the walk back to her tree house and she knows Felix won't kick her out. The two had slept in the same bed countless times before, it gave way to a familiar and secure feeling. Tinker Bell, for as long as she has been in Neverland, always slept against the wall while Felix slept with his body facing the room on the end of the bed. She thinks he does this because he's trying to protect her from the outside world, she also thinks this might be wishful thinking._

_He falls in line with her, pulling the furs up and over the two, tucking his girl in. The bed is small and both of them can barely fit without laying on top of each other but it's nice and all too familiar. She turns towards him, laying with her face in front of his. She stares his scar down, willing it to go away. He leans forward and chastely kisses her cheek. "Rest easy, pixie." He whispers, watching as she closes her sweet green eyes. He waits for her breathing to slow down before he even attempts to fall asleep._

Her lips part from his scar seconds later, she's grinning down at the water with rosy cheeks. Felix uses this opportunity to slid his arms around her waist and haul her over his shoulder. She squeals loudly, kicking as she laughs. "Felix! Felix, you had better put me down right now!" She screams, voice light with humor.

"Not a chance!" He exclaims with a wide smile on his face.

"Felix!" Her hair is flipped upside down, draped across his back and descending into the water. Tinker Bell grabs at the skin of his side, scared he's going to drop her. "Lost boy, if you don't put me down right now I will do worse than scar that pretty little face of yours!" She tries to sound serious but they both know the threat is void. Felix can't see her face but he can tell she's sticking her bottom lip out in a pout.

He slides the girl down from his shoulder and with another high pitched squeal she wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Her pout transforms into a wide smile and he feels flush knowing he put it there. "I'd like to see you try," he says watching her eyes flicker from his own grey ones to his lips and back up to his eyes. He smiles a small smile and she can't help but lean forward and capture his lips with her own.

He's not sure why but in the middle of the kiss he finds himself laughing about nothing and everything. He pulls away slightly, smiling against her lips.

"What in the devil has gotten into you?" Tinker Bell asks, grinning because he is.

His expression softens as he looks up at her. On Neverland the words 'I love you' are forbidden from ever being spoken. To say these words is a crime punishable by death. This is why the two created their own ways to say it. Small touches here and there, shared smiles, carefully worded phrases of concern, their lunch dates they don't actually call dates, the way he'll hum along to Pan's pipes because he knows she can't hear them. "You're the stars." He says, it's the only _direct_ phrase they've come up with to replace their unspoken "I love you's'.

"You're the stars." She agrees with a firm nod. Tinker Bell, no matter what world she was in, always loved the stars. She would stare at the night sky trying to decipher hidden messages and bizarre constellations. To her, stars have always been big, bright, and beautiful. When she looks up at the stars she feels centered, like she can finally figure out who she is and what she's meant to be.

When Tinker Bell looks at Felix she see's her beloved stars in his eyes. She see's the beauty in his small smiles and the hidden messages in his words. When she looks at Felix she see's someone worth loving, worth fighting for. The other faeries always told her that if she ever got lost she could use the stars to find her way home. Tinker Bell thinks she doesn't needs the stars in the sky because she's found her home- she's no longer lost.

"You didn't really want to go swimming, did you?" Felix asks, breaking her from her thoughts.

"What do you mean?" Her accent is thick and her tone innocent.

"I think you just wanted to get away from it all." He pauses. "And see me undress." He raises his eyebrows suggestively at her with a satisfied smirk on his face.

"Piss off!"She exclaims, feigning anger. She softly slaps at his chest with flushed cheeks.

He laughs and she feels his chest rumble under her hands. "So, am I right?" She glares at him and he rolls his eyes at her. "About wanting to get away." He clarifies.

Tinker Bell's cheeks are still pink as she shyly tucks a strand of wet blonde hair behind her ear. She thinks for a moment before nodding. "There's no better person to get away from everything with."

He releases her from his embrace so she can stand on the sand herself. Felix offers her a small smile before he takes her hand and leads her back to the shore. They fall back onto the soft white sand looking up at the night sky above them. When Tinker Bell looks up she see's all the twinkling lights and the shapes they make. When Felix looks up he see's one star that seems to shine just a bit brighter than the others, the second star to the right.

He looks down at the girl beside him, for a brief moment he thinks Tinker Bell might be even brighter than the star that led him to Neverland. The girl arrived on the island over half a century ago, and ever since then he's always seen her as a bight star. Perhaps it's taken this long for him to realise just how bright she shines.

She smiles up at him, wrinkling her button nose. It's cute- she's cute. His knuckles grace across her soft cheek as his grey eyes pierce through her. "What're you doing?" Her voice is soft and sweet to his ears.

"I'll tell you when I figure it out." Felix whispers, he doesn't sound lost.

The sand is sticking to their bodies but the air is warm and the sea is calm. Tinker Bell shifts so she can rest her head on his chest, she drapes her hair over her shoulder to keep it off of him. She presses a soft kiss just below his collar bone. "You know where to find me." She finally answers.

When he looks down her milky skin seems to be glowing from the light of the Neverland moon. One of his arms wrap around her slim waist and the other rest on her shoulder, his fingers dancing lightly over her freckled skin. "I always will." He agrees, watching her eyelids flutter close as she relaxes into his touches.

"Mhmm." She murmurs. He knows she's about to fall asleep but he can't bring himself to wake her up to make the walk back to her tree house. He waits until she falls asleep before slipping away from her and putting his clothes on. He gathers her garments of clothing in his arm, he wraps them up in his cloak so he can carry the clothes and Tink.

Finally, he bends down and pulls the girl in his arms. He rest her head against his shoulder as he carries her back to her home. He takes her home and tucks her in like he always does. Felix has never had to take care of anyone before so he's cautious around her. He's never had to be gentle with someone and he wants to treat her right. This makes him scared to death to screw up. It also pushes him to be a better person for her sake.

When she's settled under the covers beside him he watches her sleep for a few moments. She looks peaceful curled up beside him, he thinks he should thank her for teaching him to be a better person. He also thinks it might be a bit redundant to tell her something she already knows. Tinker Bell always seems to be one step ahead of him, seems to know him better than he knows himself.

He lays down and pulls her towards him, with a kiss to her forehead he closes his eyes and falls asleep beside her. He dreams of her, and in his dreams they are not confined by Pan's rules. It's sweet and everything he could ever want from life. She's everything he could ever want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is supposed to be split between both ships but I really favor Tinklix more so it'll most likely be more Tinklix than DarlingPan.There really isn't enough fanfictions between Felix and Tinker Bell which sucks because they could seriously be developed more. Anyway, let me know what you guys think. Any suggestions?


	3. You're getting hard to convince that you have a reason to stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter Pan has a plan to get his most loyal follower back.

**_"My body sinks to the bottom, you were the last one to know. Never needed a home but had nowhere else to go. Now I'm drifting to pieces, time is slipping away. Always thought you would end up finding a reason to stay in this house I built for you. All our plans would follow suit. You'd forget who you had been and finally give in. Is it too late to go back down that road? Or take the backroads, we're not the same, no. Tell me I'm not dreaming again. Our love is not a ghost, our love is not a ghost. Could built a brand new home. Our love is not a ghost. You gave me reason to follow a plan to build myself up. Did it all just to show you, had nowhere else to go. Now the winter is coming and time is slipping away. You're getting hard to convince that you have a reason to stay in this house I built for you. All our plans have fallen through. Should I forget who we have been and finally give in? Is it too late to go back down that road? Or take the backroads? We're not the same, no. Tell me I'm not dreaming again. I made a fool of myself. How I've been backwards. Still you're the only one I ever want to call my own. We can drive out of this hell, we'll take the backroads. Our love is not a ghost, our love is not a ghost. Could build a brand new home."_ **

The sun had just begun to set when Pan's shadow found him and told him the boy, Henry, has been located and is ready for removal at any time. He's known for awhile that the magic of his island has been depleting and he would soon need to have his people bring the boy in but he hadn't realised it would be this soon. Wendy had just started calling him Peter again, he didn't want to jeopardise what they could have. For centuries he has been in love with the girl, and she in love with him.

Peter also knows he is the leader of Neverland, and as the leader he needs to make the hard decisions. He needs the heart of the Truest Believer, this means he has to be willing to do anything to get it. If not for him, than for the boys he takes care of on his island. Without Neverland many of the Lost Boys would be cold, alone, hurting- or worse, dead. Despite the cold shoulder he gives them he thinks of them as his children. Wendy is mother and Peter is father.

Thinking of the boys makes it easier to go against Wendy's beliefs. But easier doesn't mean it's not hard. She will be so cross with him after he steals the boy's heart, after he asks her to lie for him to appeal to Henry. She won't want to talk to him, but does that mean she wouldn't side with him?

And what of Felix, his right hand man? Felix was off with that damn pixie again. He's been running around behind his back with that girl ever since she arrived on the island. Generally, he didn't mind Felix having a fling with this girl as long as she wasn't getting in his way. However, he needed Felix's undying loyalty if he were to succeed in stealing the Evil Queen's son.

There was no way the two were going to break up anytime soon naturally. Felix was too involved with Tinker Bell, too loyal to _her_ to just let her go. No, the pixie had to be the one to let Felix go. She was scared of Peter and what he might do to Felix, he could use it to his advantage. One threat to the boy and Tinker Bell would fall to her knees begging Peter to spare her precious Lost Boy, it made him sick to his stomach.

Peter sighed heavily and Wendy wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning forward and pressing her lips to his cheek. "What's wrong, Peter?"

He titled his head up to stare at the girl hugging him. She had concern in her eyes and a soft smile playing on her pink lips. Her eyes, bright blue in color, sparkled as she looked at him. "It's alright, Bird." He soothed, as if she were the one having a crisis.

"It's not alright, Peter. What's troubling you?" For a moment, Peter understood why Felix was so enthralled with Tinker Bell. The fairy, just like Wendy, was kind hearted and good. It seems impossible for lovely creatures like Wendy and Tinker Bell to love bad men like Felix and himself. But they did and it made the boys want to be good for them.

"Wendy-" he began, peaking her interest when he said her first name instead of a pet name. "I need to know you trust me, that no matter what you'll always do as I say." She opened her mouth to say a sarcastic remark but froze when she realised just how troubled Peter truly was.

"Of course." She answers quickly, recovering from her surprise. "For you, there's nothing that I wouldn't do."

He smiles earnestly, a smile only she has seen. He wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her around, gently setting her on his lap. She laughs loudly and it sounds like the sweetest song he's ever heard. "Everything I do is for you, love. Everything." He buries his nose in her neck, inhaling her scent. She's warm and familiar and everything he wanted in his old life- before Neverland.

Despite their relationship Wendy is still mother, so she pets his hair softly to calm him down. "Hush, Peter, you know I'm yours." Her words help but it doesn't feel like enough.

"I have business to attend to." He says moving back and tilting his head up to look at her, his hand at the small of her back.

"Attend to it tomorrow." Wendy moves forward, pressing her lips to his. Peter pan would always be her first and last kiss.

He hesitates before kissing her back with a small nod. He could wait till tomorrow to destroy his best friends relationship and win back Felix's undivided loyalty. "Tomorrow." He agrees, pushing curls behind her shoulder and out of his way. He places a chaste kiss to her neck, lips warm and wet against her pale skin. Goosebumps run up and down her arms, her body shivering against his touch.

* * *

The sun was high in the sky, alerting Tinker Bell that it was almost time for her to meet up with Felix for one of their regular lunch dates. She had her blonde hair wrapped neatly in a bun, tied with a small green ribbon for decoration. She wore her usual clothes but checked herself over anyway. Whilst staring at her reflection in the broken mirror she straightened her scarf. Beneath it, upon her chest laid the thin chain of a necklace. In between her breast sat a green bead and a grey bead, light feathers hanging down as a charm.

Felix had given Tinker Bell the necklace a while back as a gift to wear to a Neverland Celebration meant for Lost Boys. Peter had only let her stay until midnight, this deadline came from something he had heard from one of Wendy's stories. She had a great time that night and was fond of the necklace that sported the same feathers Felix wore in his hair.

She pulled her thin knitted sweater on before grabbing the basket she used for gathering and climbing out of her tree house. With a small bounce in her step she came across some tall bushes that contained Bambuza berries. The small berries were light pink and oval shaped. They happened to be native to Neverland and Neverland only. While Tink didn't care much for them, they were Felix's favorite and so she planned to surprise him with a small gift of her own. As she picked the berries she found herself humming to a song she couldn't quite name. She had heard it when she was a new fairy, but that life was behind her now. As she made new memories in Neverland the pain of the old ones began to dull more and more each day.

The basket was almost full when she heard a twig snap from behind her. With grace, she spun around to face the intruder. "Why are you here?" She asked flatly, staring Pan down.

"To see you, of course." He answered with an evil grin.

"What do you want?" Before Tinker Bell could process what was happening Pan was hovering over her, invading her personal space. He leans his face down, lips beside her ear.

"I need you to do something for me, can you do that?" He's being nice and she knows it's one of his games.

"What?" She ask, stiff from fear.

"I need you to let Felix go." Cold. He sounds cold and it scares her even more than before.

"I can't do that." She says softly, shaking with fear.

"You can and you will because if you don't I'll kill him and then I'll kill you." She knows he's serious and it hurts to realize he would kill Felix because of her.

"What do you want me to do?" She asks because she doesn't think she could bring herself to break up with him.

"Break it off with him, make it hurt. Make it hurt so bad he never wants to see you again. Are we clear?" He asks, she doesn't answer. "I said are we clear!" He yells, grabbing her shoulders and violently shaking her.

She nods as tears slide down her cheeks. "Crystal." She says bitterly.

He shoves her back, leaving bruises where his hands used to be. "You have till the end of the day." He says before walking away.

He leaves her a mess. Tear streaks stain her face because she can't wipe them away fast enough. She's vaguely aware that she's supposed to see Felix but she ignores this because she can't lose him just yet. Mindlessly she walks through the woods, feeling numb on the inside. The sky grows dark above her and she feels the island changing around her, Pan is urging her to find Felix and break it off.

"There you are!" She hears Felix exclaim from behind her, walking closer to her. She finds herself shaking again, terrified to turn around and face him. "Tink, are you alright? I've been looking all over for you." He's so sweet, wondering about her when she's the one that blew him off. When she's the one about to break his heart. He's walking closer, gently putting a hand on her shoulder and turning her around to face him. She looks down because she doesn't want him to see that she's been crying. "Hey, what happened?" He asks, putting a hand on her slender cheek and tilting her head up.

"I think we should stop seeing each other." She says softly, closing her eyes so she won't have to see his reaction.

"What?" He asks and she can hear the surprise and hurt in his voice.

She opens her eyes and looks at him for a moment. "I don't love you anymore." Tinker Bell says softly. She blinks as she speaks before looking at the ground, as people often do when they're hurting.

"I don't believe that for a second." He says quickly, tilting her chin up to force her to look at him. "What's gotten into you? What happened?"

She wants to tell him the truth but she can't because she knows what Pan will do to him. "I don't love you anymore." She repeats slowly, trying and failing to keep her voice steady. She's quaking with fear and he knows somethings wrong. It's in this moment he notices the bruises on her arms.

He leans down so he's level with her. "What's going on, Tink? I can help you, but only if you tell me what's going on." He's gentle with her, always has been.

"There's someone else." She says because she knows the only way he'll let her go is if he hates her.

He falters. "What?" He asks because he wasn't expecting that. "Don't be ridiculous." He dismisses. "There's no one here for you to cheat on me with. All the other boys are awfully young."

"I slept with Killian." She blurts out. "I'm sleeping with Killian." Tinker Bell corrects. Felix knows the girl has had a rather unusual relationship with the pirate. They meet and drink together on occasions but never had he been worried about her cheating on him with the man.

"No you're not." Felix says, shaking his head vigorously. "You're lying to me." He accuses.

"I'm not lying, Felix. I have been for awhile now. "

"Since when?" He asks, because he doesn't believe her.

She hesitates for a moment. "It started three weeks ago." About three weeks ago she told Felix she was going to get supplies from the pirate, she ended up staying the night on the ship because she was too drunk to walk back. Nothing happened of course, she had slept in a guest bunk and returned as soon as she woke up the next morning. Her hair had been disheveled and she looked like a complete mess when she walked into her tree house to find Felix asleep in her bed. She had crawled in beside him and he wordlessly slid his arm around her. That was the end of it, he trusted her.

"Why?" He asks as she can hear how close he is to crying.

"I love him." She lies, tears in her eyes. Felix searches her face for some sort of explanation but all he sees is her brow furrowed and her lips pursed together tightly.

"Was I not enough for you? Tinker Bell, how could you throw everything we have away?" He raises his voice slightly at her, she knows his anger is masking the hurt. Felix was never good at dealing with emotions.

She wants to tell him that he is enough, that he's everything, that she loves him but alas she can't. "I can't do this anymore." Is all she can bring herself to say.

"I want you to answer me!" He yells, taking a step away from her because he doesn't want to look at her anymore but he can't bring himself to look away.

"I'm sorry." Tinker Bell's voice is impossibly soft, she hates herself for having to hurt him.

"If you were sorry you wouldn't have done it!" Felix has never once been so angry or hurt because of her and it stings like salt in an open wound.

She crosses her arms over her chest and brings her hands to the bruises on her arms, she presses tightly into them as she stares at the scar across his face. Everything he's ever done for her seems as if it were for nothing, protecting her and getting that scar was for nothing. Letting herself love him was for nothing because of Peter fucking Pan. "You're right." She says because it's easier to agree with him than continue to lie.

"I loved you." He says, all the anger has dissipated leaving him feeling deflated.

All she hears over and over is the world _'loved'_. Felix loved her. Loved. As in no longer in love with her. Of course he would not love her anymore, not after all the things she's told him. Felix for all he is, will never love her again. A sob escapes her lips before she can stop it, her hands fly up and cover her mouth to prevent anymore noises from passing through her lips.

She's aware Felix is glaring at her but she can't seem to put herself together again. "I never want to see you again." She chokes out, it's a lie. She wants to fall asleep beside him every night and wake up in his arms every morning for all eternity. She can't imagine her life without him but is willing to carry the burden as long as his heart continues to beat.

"That's funny-" he says with a self depreciating laugh-" I was just thinking the same thing." He spits with venom in his voice. He turns away from her and storms off into the woods.

It's only when she can't hear his footsteps anymore her legs give way and she collapse to the ground. The berries in her basket tumbling on the ground beside her. She lets out hysterical sobs, trying desperately to wipe the bitter tears away. Her throat feels constricted and her head hurts more than a hang over. She wants to curl up on the ground and stay there forever. She was doomed to live the rest of forever without Felix she might as well spend it withering away on the ground.

She hears clapping before she actually see's Peter standing in front of her with a disgustingly satisfied smirk on his face. "You put on a lovely show, bravo, pixie." He says with mock praise.

She spits at his feet. "Go fuck yourself." She says, burning with rage.

"You've never been lady-like, have you? Not like Wendy is. It makes me wonder what Felix ever saw in you." He taunts, not only pushing the knife in deeper but turning it too.

"I did what you asked now leave me alone." She demands, all her emotions too raw to deal with.

"You want to be left alone, fine. I'll make sure you're left alone." She feels the island beneath her shift once again. She's transported in front of her tree house, only its at the far end of the island. The isolated end of the island that's too dangerous for some of the Lost Boys. She really is completely and utterly alone. "Enjoy your stay." He says before vanishing.

She's numb inside when she climbs up the latter and into her home. It's empty without Felix. Her sweet, sweet, Felix. The boy that let her stay in his home with him until he surprised her with a home of her own.

_Tinker Bell had been staying with Felix for a little over three weeks when Felix led her to a clearing with his hands covering her eyes. She laughed softly as she clung to his arms, stumbling a bit but never actually falling. Felix promised he wouldn't let her fall and Felix always delivered on his promises. "Where are you taking me?" She asked, not fond of surprises._

_"If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise anymore." He reprimands, leading her towards a clearing._

_"It doesn't have to be." Tink pretends she doesn't want him to do things for her but secretly she loves the attention. Felix looks upon her with pure adoration, a look he has only ever given her. Felix while loyal to Pan and the Lost Boys didn't show much affection towards them. Tinker Bell was the one to break down his walls, the one to show him that he is more than what Pan wants him to be, the one to show him he deserves to be loved._

_"Alright." He says, pulling her from her thoughts. Slowly he stops walking, pulling her against him to prevent her from falling. "Are you ready?" She nodded eagerly and slowly he removed his hands from over her eyes. He stepped to the side, just in time to see her eyes open. He watched the green orbs widen and her mouth form an 'o'._

_She gasped as she stared up at the tree house. "Felix!" She exclaimed, turning to look at him with a radiant smile. "Did you do this?"_

_He nodded, small smile reflecting hers. "You didn't think you'd be stuck with me forever did you?" As much as he enjoyed her company his home was small making them feel cramped and suffocated. His bed was barely big enough for him, considering how tall he is. Tinker Bell would curl up around him, fitting them together like snug puzzle pieces._

_Besides, Tinker Bell is a girl that needs her privacy. Felix wasn't used to being around girls, it made him awkward and clumsy around her. Tink being comfortable around him wasn't helping in the least bit. She would undress in front of him like it was nothing. Once, he accidentally found her bathing in a lake and she said the intrusion was 'not a problem'. It wasn't that Felix didn't like seeing her naked, he was still technically a seventeen year old boy after all, he didn't like that she let him watch her like that. He didn't want their relationship to be like **that**. He liked Tinker Bell and he wanted her to know that he liked her for her, not her body. That he liked her so much he would do any thing for her. Tinker Bell was nothing like Wendy because he was nothing like Pan. She wasn't a possession, or a toy for him to play with at his whim. She was real and he wanted what they have together to be real too._

_"Oh." Tinker Bell says, furrowing her brow as she stared up at him._

_"Don't you like it?" Felix asks, studying her face intently._

_"No, I love it I just-" she pauses as she tries to find the right words."I liked staying with you."_

_"I like having you around." He assures never missing a beat. "This doesn't mean we can't see each other. You're welcome to come by anytime you want. I'll visit you too. I just thought that maybe...maybe you should have a home of your own so you can feel like you belong here too." He watches her tightly pressed lips turn up into a grin._

_"Bleedin' hell, Felix!" She exclaims, letting out a breath of relief. "I thought you were tryin' to get rid of me."_

_"Get rid of you?" Felix asks as if it's the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard. "What gave you that impression?"_

_She playfully slaps his chest, still dizzy from relief. "Just seemed like you were kickin' me out, s'all." She looks down at her boots with a shrug._

_He steps forward and wraps his arms around her small frame. Felix pulls her flush against his chest and kisses the top of her head. "I could never kick you out. You're too much of a looker for that." He teases in an attempt to comfort her._

_She leans into his touches, seeking comfort in his warmth. "Yeah? You're not so bad yourself."_

_"We can go in whenever you're ready." With that she grabbed his hand and ran towards the ladder, dropping it as she climbed. She lifted the flap and climbed inside. It wasn't until she stood up did she look around._

_Her eyes widened in amazement as she took in the golden lit room. On the far left of the room against the wooden panel walls was a bed just big enough for the two of them. Above the bed a pale green canopy hung, draping down the side and decorating the plain wood. On the other side of the room was a small white vanity that had a round mirror attached. On the vanity table top laid a brush and a small chest filled with ribbons for her hair. Beside the vanity was a small table with two chairs . On the wall beside the table there was a shelf that had various wooden bowls and trinkets on top._

_"I know it's not much but-" Felix says from behind her, rubbing the back of his neck nervously._

_She squeals and jumps up and down. She flings herself at him, arms around his neck in a tight hug. "It's perfect!" She exclaims, he can feel her smiling against his skin. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Felix!"_

_He lets out a shaky breath of relief. "You're very welcome." He says, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head._

_"Really, Felix, it's all just so thoughtful." Tinker Bell murmurs as she squeezes his neck in a tight hug._

_His hands rest on her waist as he holds her against him. "I just want you to be happy here." He says, tucking her under his chin. Tinker Bell nuzzles into him, he smells like fresh rain and the forest around them. He's warm and it reminds her of how she felt when she still had powers. She's happy in his arms, she decides she never wants to be anywhere else._

* * *

On the walk back to his tree house all he saw was red. He paced inside his cramped tree house, breathing erratic. He threw his cloak back from his face, running his hands through his waves and pulling on the locks. He lets out a scream of frustration before brushing the bowls off his table. He grabs the corner and throws the table across his room.

He feels hurt beyond repair, like his heart has been ripped out and he's been left to bleed out on the floor. He doesn't understand why she would say those things to him if they weren't true. He doesn't understand why there were bruises on her arms. If she were in trouble she would go to him, she always had. Felix felt anger well in his chest as the thought of Hook hurting her crossed his mind.

He can't get the way her entire body trembled out of his head. The fear in her eyes makes him want to _murder_ who ever put it there. He loves her,loves her so much he can't stand it. He doesn't want this to be goodbye. He doesn't want them to be over.

Tears are in his eyes but he refuses to let them fall. Peter would call him a girl for crying over her. So, he closes his eyes and shakes his head. He tells himself that she's not worth it, he knows it's a lie but he thinks it might get him through this.

Thinker Bell for over half a century has been his everything. He rebuilt his life to center around her. He took her broken pieces in his arms, opened his home to her, and pieced her back together. Worst of all, she made him start to believe there was more to him than Neverland.

He loves her more than he will ever love anyone and it cuts deep knowing she's loves her more than he will ever love anyone and it cuts deep knowing she's gone. Felix's takes all the pain he feels and masks it with anger. He's angry at Tinker Bell for no longer loving him. He's angry at that bloody pirate for stealing his girl. He's angry at himself for letting her break down his walls only to hurt him in the end.

Even though he's angry and hurt he's deeply concerned for her well being. Something about what Tink said doesn't sit right with him. She looked far too scared for something to not be wrong. Surely she wasn't scared of him...was she? He had never given her a reason to be afraid of loves her too much to hurt her, Tinker Bell knows that. Or at least he thought she did. Maybe she really did leave him for Hook...maybe she didn't know how much he cares...or maybe he truly wasn't enough.

He looks down at his bed feeling desolate inside. He crawls under the covers, painfully aware of the empty space where her small frame should be. Even under the blankets he feels cold. Tinker Bell was always the warm one of the two. She has always been bright and bubbly with emotions. She was approachable where he was distant. She was sweet and soft spoken where he was cold and deafening. She was everything the world needed to be good and he...he was what she needed to change.

It's poetic, he thinks bitterly, for her to walk out on him after everything they've been through. There's an ache in his chest he has a feeling won't dull anytime soon. He misses her already. He has no idea how he's going to live without her, in this moment he doesn't think he can.

When he closes his eyes he sees her warm smile and vibrant green eyes staring him down. He sees the way her honey hair would shine in the sun light and the way the moon would illuminate her milky skin. He sees the dimples on her lower back and the freckles on her shoulders. He sees all of the places on her body that he'll never get to kiss again.

He can't help it that even when he feels the most unbearable pain he's ever felt he still wonders what she's doing right in this moment. He imagines her with Hook, his grimy hand trailing over her soft skin. He imagines his alcohol stained lips on her sweet, chaste, lips. He imagines the damn pirate corrupting her into something even she won't recognize. He wants to pull at his hair and scream until his lungs burn. He reaches his hands up in his blonde locks and feels the feather, he freezes. He thinks of the necklace he made her and his heart squeezes.

He loves her still, even as he thinks of the bloody pirate touching her in a way only Felix should. He'll probably always love her. She's the best thing that has ever happened to him- he's sure nothing will ever come close to compare to her. He continues to feel this way even though Tinker Bell has hurt him immensely. Felix is completely sure he'll always feel this way for the end of time, as dramatic as it sounds.

It's only when his tears are dangerously close to falling that his head starts to pound and he closes his eyes tightly, forcing himself to fall asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoy this story please drop a comment below if you'd like me to continue it.


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